Megan's Big Crush
by therubyone
Summary: Megan has a crush and she's not sure how to handle it. Then she discovers a secret that shocks and surprises her. Can Josh help her sort everything out? Rated T for Teen - for slash. Reader advisory: new twists on step-cest!
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:**_ These characters were not created by me nor are they owned by me. I'm only having some fun with them – and I hope you will, too!

**_Thanks:_** to my friend WriteAtNight for the feedback and encouragement

_**Reader Advisory:**_ Rated T (for Teen) for implied mild slash and potential step-cest!

_**Author:**_ therubyone

**MEGAN'S BIG CRUSH**

Chapter 1. – _**Crushing**_

The alarm clock sang Megan Parker awake on Monday morning. She arose quickly, even though she didn't need to leave the house for another 2-1/2 hours. She got up early because it was time for her brothers to get ready and leave for school. Megan has a secret crush and she can hardly admit it, even to herself. It's been building for a long time. She isn't sure yet what she's going to do about it. As she waits for the sound of the shower to stop, she sits on her bed, doodling and drawing in her notebook, as she thinks back, reviewing the last few years since she gained a stepbrother. At first, she classified Josh Nichols as just another smelly boob, like her birth brother. And she pranked Josh, _hard_. He was so easy: he wasn't expecting it and he never fought back. He tried to, at first, but since she was always one step ahead, he soon came to toe the line – just like Drake. She didn't know then what she knew now, that Josh Nichols was gentle and kind; he was certainly _intelligent_ enough to prank her, not like _some_ brothers she could name, but he never did.

Megan hadn't anticipated that the end result of her pranks was the forging of a bond between Josh and Drake, and the two of them had become closer than true blood brothers. Since she frightened them, they avoided her whenever they could. She'd made overtures: she wanted to join them for the salsa contest, and she even offered to cut them in on her Cup-O'-Stuff idea. But they refused. So she had to play them even harder and act like she didn't care. Megan still treasured the memory of their night at the amusement park, when the three of them snuck out to ride the Demonator.

Megan wasn't totally evil. She didn't, however, wear her heart on her sleeve. When she learned that her two pet boys were in jail for selling the stolen Gary Grills, and that they weren't just joking with her that they were calling from jail, she volunteered to help capture the real criminals. Then there was that time in L.A., when she rescued those boys from the counterfeiters. She even let her brothers take the credit, while she went off to Denver to visit her friend. She'd done her best to help Josh think of disguises when people mistook him for the "Theatre Thug." When Josh was in the hospital for foot surgery, all she'd managed to tell him was "I hope you don't die." But he knew what she meant. He'd answered "Love you, too."

Megan opened her bedroom door a minute or two after the shower stopped. She stood and watched as a towel-clad Josh came out of the bathroom and ambled barefoot back to the bedroom he shared with Drake.

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Clutching at the bathsheet that encircled his waist, a damp Josh Nichols went into his bedroom and leaned his back against his bedroom door, with a panicky look in his eyes.

Across the room, Drake Parker was pulling up his jeans, getting dressed for the day ahead. The morning rush to get out the door for school usually didn't include pauses for introspection, so when Drake noticed Josh lost in thought, he called out "Hey, something bugging you?"

"I was coming down the hall from the bathroom and I caught Megan staring at me. I hate to be paranoid, but it seems like she's always watching me lately."

"Dude, not a good sign. She could be planning anything."

"But why has she singled me out? I go out of my way to be considerate."

"I gave up trying to answer those kinds of questions years ago. It's like guessing why tornados or lightning strike in one place and not another."

"She's actually been rather kind to me lately – for _her_, I mean - and it sets my teeth on edge, wondering when and where she's going to spring her trap."

"I've got your back, bro, although when it comes to Megan, I still don't know how to stop her. Don't let yourself get so worked up over this that your rash comes back. For all we know, Megan's just trying to psych you out. Are you working tonight?"

"Yes. You can drop me off after school on your way to your rehearsal."

"You better hurry up. If I get one more tardy, it's detention again for sure."

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While she was waiting for the boys to finish getting ready and head downstairs for breakfast, Megan got out a special box from her bottom desk drawer. She thought of it as her shrine to Love. She had a lock of Josh's hair, tied with a piece of blue yarn, and some small things of his that she had liberated from his possession. It pleased her to look at these items while thinking about Josh. She dropped her latest acquisition, a button from his shirt, into the box where it hit the bottom with a tiny yet satisfying clink. She picked up and put down the little lava rock monster with its fat tongue, and a small, carved wooden bird.

Josh was good. Every year he gave Megan a Valentine, birthday gifts and Christmas presents. He did this without being nagged into it by their mother, as Drake was. Josh took her places: to the mall, the movies, The Magic Shoppe and to Guitar World. He gave her rides whenever she needed to go somewhere and sometimes he stayed to watch her soccer practice. When she asked him, he never hesitated to look over her homework or answer questions pertaining to her studies, even though she did it only so she could sit right next to him, so close that she could feel his body heat and inhale his clean, sexy scent while touching his arm with hers.

Megan smiled to herself as she added to her list of all the things she liked about Josh. Josh was sensitive and thoughtful, had read a lot of books. He was so funny – silly, even – and he liked to cook. She never would have won that salsa contest if she hadn't sabotaged Josh's recipe. Josh knew show tunes and could sing them from memory. His voice was amazing, different, sounding scratchy yet soft, high and low at the same time. He was happy enough sitting and watching television with the family. Josh was dutiful, responsible, a hard worker, and through all things he had a cheerful disposition. He watched _**Oprah. **_She couldn't think of any other boy who was _that_ in touch with his feminine side!

Megan put away her treasures of Joshness and her notepad with a contented sigh. She went downstairs to eat breakfast with Josh and Drake.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer:**_ The characters herein are not my creations nor do I own them; I am not seeking any profit nor any ill will from the major corporations that are the legal owners. This is only for kicks and giggles.

**_Author:_** therubyone

**_Reader advisory:_** Rated T for Teen for mild, implied slash and potential step-cest

MEGAN'S BIG CRUSH

Chapter 2. – _**Project J**_

Megan stared out the window during her free period. She had just finished writing a book report, so she felt she was entitled to let her mind roam back to her favorite subject. Megan surmised that Josh had learned a few things while dating Mindy. After the two of them broke up, Josh never lacked for dates. Girls even asked HIM out. Heck, he'd even won a dating marathon against Drake! Megan hadn't wanted Josh to make that bet. She'd even laughed, as though Josh couldn't win. But deep down she just didn't WANT Josh to win. She didn't like him going out with girl after random girl – leave that to Drake. But even though Drake couldn't resist the girls, and vice versa, he didn't respect those girls very much; they were interchangeable to him.

Josh certainly wasn't like that. He was polite to everybody. He always gave of himself. He tried so hard to manage her troop of Campfire Cadets. Megan's cheeks blazed at the memory of how she and the other girls had been so mean and thoughtless to Josh. She'd called Josh so many cruel things, so many times. It embarrassed her now. Megan wanted their relationship to evolve in a natural way but she knew he'd get suspicious if she dropped her old act too fast.

Megan had put a lot of effort into making that pretty birthday cake for Josh, but all Josh could worry about was Drake forgetting his birthday. That was when she decided to go ahead and let the cake blow up. She hadn't realized until then that she herself had been driving the two boys together and she was frustrated now that she couldn't pry them apart. Oh, she'd tried. She was always dropping little hints to both of them in order to get them to fight. The best time was when they were hanging around Drew and Jerry to make each other jealous. So hilarious! Megan concluded, too late, that too many of her efforts were getting Josh and Drake grounded together, holed up in their boob-cave, where they could ignore her. She knew she had better re-think her tactics.

The closest she'd ever felt to Josh was when he and Drake had fought, during that terrible falling-out when Josh said he was "done" with Drake. Without Drake hogging up all Josh's spare time, he and Megan had so many wonderful conversations, sitting close together on the couch. Megan had watched with interest as Josh removed his tear-away sport pants for the first time. Hmmm. She thought she'd better add that to the List. She wondered if Josh could guess or sense somehow what she was thinking. It made her feel shivery all over.

The bell rang. Megan gathered up her things and went to meet Janie in the cafeteria.

After school, Megan checked Josh's work schedule, posted with magnets on the fridge. So Josh would be at work until 8:30. She hoped Drake wasn't going to turn up soon, either. He usually didn't when Josh was at The Premiere. She slipped into the boys' room. Holding her breath, she carefully started sifting through her brothers' wicker laundry hamper. She didn't want anything of Drake's, and what she did want - Ah! Perfect! She pulled out a soft, blue shirt that Josh had slept in. She shook off the Drake cooties that might have gotten on it and hurriedly retreated to her bedroom with her prize.

Megan sat down at her desk and got out the perfume-making kit she'd gotten last Christmas. She enjoyed a challenge. She thought of this as her _**Project J**_. She was attempting to distill the essence of Josh. She sniffed Josh's shirt. Notes of sandalwood and African violets—it was a start. Maybe this was as close as she could get to having Josh in a bottle. She counted the drops as she added each fragrance to the vial with a dropper, making notes as she went along. She recalled once telling Josh that she would knit a stupid bag and keep him inside it. Ha ha - THEN he'd be always at her side! As she mixed her ingredients and checked her notes, she giggled to herself. Josh could be lots of fun when he tickled and teased her, calling her "little girl" in that goofy way of his. He was patient and she knew he sometimes let her win at board games.

Megan concentrated on her project until she heard the front door open. It was her mother. Megan put her Project J away and turned to her homework, knowing that Mom would come in and check on her.

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Still wearing his red vest with the embroidered "P," Josh stood rooting around the top of his desk. "Drake, you didn't take my lucky Tikki, did you?"

Drake was sitting on his bed with his guitar. He put it down for a moment. "The one Aunt Barb brought you from her vacation in Hawaii?"

"Yeah. It's gone." Josh continued his search, this time looking in the drawers. "And so's my little wooden toucan from Brazil that cousin Skippy got when he went there on that agricultural studies program."

"Maybe we've got poultrygeists?! Like the ones in '_Ghost_ _Monsters_.'"

"It's weird, that's all, things going missing. I just wanted to make sure you haven't been selling my stuff on eBay again. Since you're not, then I probably just misplaced them."

In retrospect, Drake felt badly about doing that to Josh. "You can have MY Tikki if it makes you feel better."

There was a knock at the bedroom door, followed by Megan's entrance.

"Mom asked me to see if you guys had any dinner, and if you didn't, to tell you she'll make you some sandwiches."

Josh indicated "I'm good."

"I'm just gonna snack on stuff we have up here," answered Drake.

"I've got a headache. It hurts me so much I can't concentrate to read. Would either of you mind reading a chapter to me from Bridge to Terabithia? I have to get through it for school by tomorrow."

"I loved that book!" exclaimed Josh.

Megan knew that Drake wouldn't want to read aloud.

"Why don't you get Mom or Dad?" Drake asked.

"They're cuddling on the couch and watching some movie with the lights out. They're drinking wine. I hate to bother them."

_Since when?_ thought Drake, growing suspicious.

Josh had taken off the vest and he hung it on the back of the desk chair. He extended his hand to Megan once he had seated himself on the couch.

Placing the book in his hand, Megan told him, "I've bookmarked the page where I left off."

Without waiting for an invitation or further comment from Drake, she got on the couch, too, and laid her head against Josh's leg. She'd read the book back in 5th grade, so she closed her eyes and concentrated only on the sound of Josh's voice, as she enjoyed the feeling of strength and warmth emanating from Josh's solid thigh against the back of her skull.

When he'd finished, Josh asked Megan a few questions to make sure she was prepared for class. Megan opened her eyes and was surprised to see that Drake had come down from his loft and was sitting in the orange armchair, dozing.

"Okay, Megs. We'd better call it a night. I hope your head feels better."

"Thanks, Josh. What about Drake? Shouldn't we wake him?"

"I'll take care of him. No worries."

Once she sat alone in her own bed, Megan pulled Josh's pajama top out from under her pillow and held it close. She hoped she'd have a nice dream involving Josh.

Josh touched Drake's shoulder and gently shook him. "Drake, wake up and go to sleep!"

"Huh? Is she gone?"

Josh nodded affirmatively as Drake looked up at him, sleepily yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"Man, you were right. She's up to something. I'm thinking she must be after a DNA sample."

"I like it when Megan comes to me for help. It makes me feel like a brother, instead of a moving target."

"Will you read me some more of that story tomorrow? Imagine that, a boy and a girl being best friends."

"I can't believe you don't even remember that book. We studied it ourselves. Was it 5th or 6th grade?"

"I'm certain _**I**_ never read it before."

Josh wondered why Megan's class was reading the book this year. Perhaps the curriculum had changed. After all, it was a very tragic story for 10- or 11-year-olds to handle.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer:**_ These characters were not created by me nor are they owned by me; I am not seeking to make a profit. I'm only trying to entertain.

_**Reader Advisory:**_ Rated T (for Teen) for implied mild slash and potential step-cest!

_**Author:**_ therubyone

**MEGAN'S BIG CRUSH**

Chapter 3. – _**Getting Closer**_

When Megan peeked out of her bedroom in the morning, she was disappointed to see that it was only Drake coming back from the shower. Oh, well, Megan wouldn't consider it as time wasted. She pulled out two trays from under her bed. She could work on her Just Josh collage. She was going to put it on the back of her memoboard, so she could flip it and look any time she wanted to, and nobody would be the wiser.

Audrey always got duplicate prints before the family went digital. All the originals went into the family photo albums, and all the copies went into shoeboxes. Megan used the trays for sorting the pictures. She retrieved the most recent ones and selected the best shots. It was painstaking, having to cut Drake out of so many pictures; it seemed like there was never any space between him and Josh.

It didn't bother Megan at all how many stupid girls lost their heads and threw themselves at Drake. That was biology. Females of most species wanted to mate with the animal they considered the most attractive. Smarts had nothing to do with it. But Josh? He was not only smart: that last growth spurt and the weight loss had catapulted him from merely good-looking into certified hottie. With Drake around to always overshadow him, though, Josh never got conceited with it. In fact, he was humble and didn't even know how much he truly had to offer the fairer sex. When she had friends over, they always gushed like idiots over Drake, but lately, some of them were starting to notice Josh. Megan's brow creased at the thought.

Josh was a pushover. Megan thought it was terrible that he had let himself be bull-dozed into going steady with that nut job Mindy Crenshaw. Megan had to respect the strength of Mindy's intellect, but she didn't like the competition: Mindy had the power to harass and hurt both her brothers, so it was best that Mindy wasn't around. Megan used to spy on Josh and Mindy making out; the strange reaction she felt when seeing them was her first indicator that she was no longer thinking of Josh as merely a brother and a boob. She played back the image of Josh with Mindy, in semi-darkness on the dining room window seat, kissing urgently, Josh slipping his large hands under Mindy's skirt or blouse, with Mindy reluctantly pushing those hands away until they both got so breathless and tangled up together, that as one they wordlessly rose and, holding hands, headed up the stairway to the bedroom when Mom and Walter weren't home. The boys had gotten so adept at disabling all Megan's bugs and mini-cams, she could no longer watch them in their room. She wondered if Josh was still a virgin.

Megan was overjoyed the day that Mindy and Josh called it quits. Josh had never brought any of his other dates to the house. She didn't think that foreign girl Yooka even counted as a date, since it was Drake she'd temporarily married.

Megan had to give Drake some credit: he'd figured out sooner than she had what a true friend they had in their stepbrother. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, when things had changed, when Drake and Josh became inseparable. They practically functioned as a unit nowadays. And they hardly ever fought, with their shouting and name-calling waking her at night. Of course they still wrestled and tussled over stupid things like the television remote or the last piece of pie, but they always made up, and in fact, she could swear they were on the verge of laughter as they grappled and tumbled, falling over the furniture and ending up rolling around on the floor slapping at each other. Megan had observed the way Drake's face changed when Josh came into the room, how it lit up with excitement when he had something important to share with Josh, how the two of them studied together and went to parties and on double dates and bought tickets to see bands.

Look at the time! Megan shoved the trays back under her bed. She dashed downstairs. Josh and Drake were already eating. Audrey had prepared them all a hot breakfast.

"Mom, do you think we can go to Josh's swim competition after school today?"

"Sorry, baby, I can't get away from work early today. Drake, why don't you take your sister, so you can _both_ go and support your brother? I'll give you some extra money for gas."

Drake automatically started to protest, but stopped himself. This would be his chance to get to the bottom of Megan's plotting.

"Sure," Drake affirmed smoothly. "Is it away?"

"Bushmont," answered Josh, finishing his orange juice.

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Megan stopped at her locker and pulled out her vial of Project J. She was SO close to getting the right combination of essential oils. She inhaled deeply. Megan thought it needed some rich, aromatic cedarwood, and a tad more vanilla. She was looking forward to seeing Josh compete. Megan had heard Walter reading aloud from the paper that a local team sponsor had donated new uniforms, similar to the ones the US team wore at the Olympics. Megan anticipated that Josh would look totally awesome! She loved it best when he was doing the breast stroke and she could watch his massive shoulders working as he sliced through the water.

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"Dad's coming to pick us up, since he's the closest. He's arranged for the tow truck," Drake advised Megan after he'd finished his phone call.

Megan and Drake leaned against the dead buggy to wait.

"It's too bad we'll miss Josh," Drake said. "They just got those new uniforms and all. He was pretty excited about that."

"Yeah. At least he gets the bus back to school afterwards. Who knows how long we'll be stuck here?"

"It will give us a chance to chat."

Now it was Megan's turn to be suspicious.

"Something on your mind, Drake?"

"I've noticed you've been paying close attention to Josh recently. I hope you're not planning to do anything EVIL to him."

"What? No. Of course not."

"I'm glad to hear you say that, Megan. I hope you mean it. I know _you_ think it's fun, but Josh and I get tired of your pranks! Maybe you're starting to show some signs of maturity."

"I've told you before, I'm way too busy for lots of pranking, now that I'm in middle school."

"I've really gotten to know Josh; he's a good guy and an important addition to our family. We all need to be looking out for each other."

"I know that and I agree." Megan, looking innocent, but wanting to needle Drake, added, "What was that _you_ used to call Josh, a _spastic meteor, _or something about being clammy and weird, oh, I remember, an uncool dork?!"

Drake swallowed. "Maybe we're _both _starting to show some signs of maturity."

Walter Nichols pulled up. He was on a tight schedule. As his children got into his car, Walter handed a credit card to the tow driver. They talked a moment, Walter signed an invoice on a clipboard, and then he sped off leaving the VW to its fate. Walter dropped Drake and Megan at their front door and headed back to the television station.

Megan went to her room and left Drake downstairs waiting for his pizza to be delivered. So, Drake was _**noticing**__ things_! Megan worried that Josh might be, too. Usually the boys were so oblivious about her. Megan would just have to scale back a little, that's all. Tomorrow she wouldn't eat breakfast with them. She'd stay in her room and work on the collage or Project J, until they left.

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Josh came in and put his backpack on the dining room table. He found Drake watching TV in the living room.

"I got your message. Sorry to hear about the car. It was just in the shop last month. We won, by the way."

"Congrats. I saved you some pizza," Drake said, waving his hand in the direction of the delivery box. "I know how hungry you get after a meet."

Josh collapsed onto the couch, folded a slice, and started to eat.

During the commercial, Drake said with pride, "You'll be glad to know I had a talk with Megan. She wouldn't tell me what she's been planning, or admit to anything, but I think I got her to back off. I used the Big Brother Knows Best routine."

The boys pounded fists.

"Good work, bro! Thanks!"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer:**_ These characters were not created by me nor are they owned by me. I'm only having some fun with them – and I hope you will, too!

_**Warning:**_ Rated T (for Teen) - this chapter contains (mild) slash; if it upsets or offends you, now is the time to turn away!

_**Author:**_ therubyone

**MEGAN'S BIG CRUSH**

Chapter 4. - _**Distillation**_

Megan was ecstatic! After blending in lavender, eucalyptus and peppermint, she had achieved her goal: Project J was complete! She put the vial on a nylon cord, so she could wear it around her neck. Then she decided to finish the collage. The only thing left to do was apply the giant letters. She had cut out hollow letters, _J – O – S – H_, and filled them in, each one with a different pattern -- stripes, stars, flowers and spirals. She glued these onto the posterboard, pausing to gaze at her handiwork and drown herself in the gorgeous green eyes of multiple smiling Joshies.

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Drake Parker was having a _bad_ day. He angrily jammed his cellphone into his pocket. Julio had called with the unsettling news that his father's job transfer had come through earlier than expected and the whole family would be moving right away. Another setback landed on his desk last period: a 'D' on the Spanish test. Now he'd have to retake it and do extra credit to bring his grade up. He hated school so much!

At lunchtime, all hell broke loose. Sarah Martin and Kim Sulkowski, two of his biggest supporters, had been comparing notes. In the heat of passion, Drake had told each of them he'd composed a certain song "just for you." Well, he _had_ written it for someone special, but what they didn't know shouldn't have hurt him. Now both girls were mad – at him and each other – and actively feeding the busy Belleview rumor mill, making him look like an ass and a liar.

The VW bug was still at the mercy of the mechanics, so he and Josh would have to take the bus home. Sarah AND Kim rode that bus, too. He dreaded being in a confined space with them. If he and Josh couldn't catch a ride with someone, maybe he'd make sure they missed the bus, so they could walk home together instead. The skies were cloudy. He hoped it wouldn't rain.

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Megan's oboe practice had been cancelled. The teacher had left a note on the door; he'd been called away for a family emergency. So Megan rode home with an oboe-playing classmate. The house was so quiet – no TV, blaring stereo or loud guitar – Drake and Josh must not be home yet and her parents were still at work. Excellent! Megan put her messenger bag and oboe away in her bedroom and decided it was time for another expedition to the boys' room, so she could search for other Josh-trinkets to add to her collection.

Megan opened the boys' bedroom door. She was surprised to see that the boys WERE home. They'd obviously gotten caught in the rain. Their soggy backpacks and a jumbled pile of their soaked clothing lay on the floor. Josh wore a pair of red shorts and it appeared that Drake was wearing a pair of blue boxers. They were clearly unaware of her presence.

Wait. What was she seeing? They both had towels around their necks. Their hair was dripping wet. Josh was sitting at the far end of the couch with Drake on his lap, Drake's legs slightly bent and stretched out along the cushions next to Josh. They were nuzzling each other's faces, like puppies and kittens do. Then Drake put his arms around Josh's neck, resting his head on Josh's shoulder. The house was so utterly silent that she could hear Drake sigh. Josh whispered something in Drake's ear, which she didn't quite catch. Drake pulled back and exhaled through his nose in response, as they touched foreheads for a moment. Josh took the towel from around Drake's neck and dried off Drake's bare legs and then his back, all the while murmuring words she couldn't distinguish. Then Drake grasped the ends of Josh's towel and pulled him closer.

OMG! They were _kissing_ each other - on the _lips_. Megan felt her stomach drop. She didn't want to look, but she couldn't stop herself. She felt faint. They didn't kiss the way Josh and Mindy did, all greedy and desperate. This was softer, slower, more intense somehow. But no doubt about it: they were making out. It was kind of beautiful in a strange way, secretly witnessing this most private tenderness between them. She recalled the time when she was on a camping vacation with the family; one misty morning she'd been two feet away from some browsing deer. She knew if she moved the animals would startle and run away. So Megan continued to watch in silent fascination, noting the way Drake and Josh moved their heads slightly to accommodate the movements of their mouths. Was that Josh moaning – or Drake?

Megan snapped out of her reverie as though she'd been hit. She felt not only stunned but betrayed. She turned the knob and slowly pulled the door closed so there would be no click to give her away. With leaden feet she slumped back to her bedroom.

Megan shut the door gently, even though she wanted to slam it. Josh was right. Drake was born under a lucky star. He got by on his looks and charm. He got what he wanted. Everything went his way -- and _he'd_ gotten to Josh before she had. Now she knew how jealous Josh felt sometimes, having Drake's string of random girls always in sight. Megan was furious and miserable.

Megan keyed her stereo on with her watch, set to a low volume. She took the tray from under the bed where she had preserved the Drake-portions of the pictures she hadn't needed for her collage and dumped them into her wastebasket. She wasn't listening to the music at first, her mind was so distraught and distracted. Then she finally heard the song, from a Beatles CD that Drake had given her.

…_If you won't see me  
(You won't see me)_ -

_Time after time  
You refuse to even listen  
I wouldn't mind  
If I knew what I was missing  
Though the days are few  
They're filled with tears--_

Megan ripped the disc from the machine and tossed it across the room as hard as she could. So what if it broke. She took her precious vial of Project J, her own Love Potion No. 9, and dribbled the entire contents all over her pillow. She buried her face in it and wept.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer:**_ These characters were not created by me nor are they owned by me. I'm only playing with them for entertainment purposes, no profit sought, nor offense intended.

_**Reader Advisory:**_ Rated T (for Teen) for slash and step-cest!

_**Author's Note:**_ Please excuse the technical difficulties. While revising for typos, I uploaded the wrong document on Chapter 3 and didn't catch it for about 10 hours. Sorry for the glitch!

_**Author:**_ therubyone

**MEGAN'S BIG CRUSH**

Chapter 5. – _**Secrets**_

The next thing Megan heard was the sound of her mother's voice waking her and calling her to the dinner table. Megan kept her head down, but she stole short glances at her brothers, who didn't seem to notice anything amiss in her behavior.

Walter asked Megan, "Are you feeling all right, princess? You've hardly touched your meal."

Megan responded slowly. "I've got a lot on my mind."

Concerned, Walter inquired "Do you want to talk about it? Is it something I can help you with?"

Megan stopped pushing the uneaten food around on her plate, not meeting Walter's eyes, and replied, "I don't think so."

Audrey turned to Josh. "I need you to go to the Stop'N'Shop for me and pick up a few things. We're having a baby shower at work on Friday afternoon and it's a potluck. I've made a list. I'll give you the keys to my SUV."

"Okay, Mom."

Drake started to rise from his chair and follow Josh, "I'll come with."

Audrey stopped Drake by placing her hand on his arm. "No, you won't, Drake Parker. Your math teacher called me today. You haven't been turning in your homework. You're going to sit at the table in the kitchen while I'm cleaning up so I can make sure you complete your assignment."

"Ugh! He wants us to show our work." Drake groaned and rolled his eyes.

Hesitantly, Megan spoke up. "Josh, can I come with you? I need to get some . . . more posterboard."

Josh nodded, and gesturing, said, "Let's go."

DJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJDJD

Standing in line at Register 5, Megan noticed the checker was talking and joking with Josh. Did she just wink at him?! Megan edged forward and gave a death look to the young woman who was so obviously flirting with Josh. Could this night get any worse? Still laughing at some snappy retort made by the cashier, Josh gathered up the full shopping bags and headed out to the car. Megan trailed him and stopped long enough to shoot one more mean face at the surprised checker, who was indeed taking in an eyeful of Josh as he departed. Oblivious, Josh loaded the earth-friendly cloth bags into the back of the SUV. After he climbed into the driver's seat, Megan prevented him from turning on the ignition by placing her hand over the switch and saying, "Josh, I need to talk to you."

Josh was surprised by the hesitancy in her voice. "What's up, kiddo?"

"I didn't expect to tell you this. But it's really important. It isn't easy for me to say, but - I've been crushing on you - for a while now."

Josh couldn't have been more surprised by this news than if someone had told him he'd won the lottery or a spot on the next space shuttle. "What? Are you serious? You're not setting me up for a prank, are you?" He blinked rapidly with his mouth open as he tried to take in and process the information.

Megan shook her head, and Josh could tell by the vulnerable look on her face that she wasn't fooling. Josh leaned forward, with his arms on the steering wheel, and accidentally beeped the horn, causing a nearby old man in the parking lot to give him a sour look and flip him the bird.

"This isn't a conversation we can have in the car. Come on."

Josh got out and came around to the passenger side and took Megan's hand, leading her down the street to a 1950's-style eatery where ordered two ice cream sundaes. Megan didn't speak, and stared at the floor, but she was concentrating on the cozy sensation of Josh's big hand holding her smaller one.

After they were seated with their treats, Josh said gently, "Look, Megan. I'm unbelievably touched and flattered that you have special feelings for me. I don't think anyone's ever had a crush on me, at least not one that I knew about. It's a crazy feeling, I know. I remember what it was like. And it doesn't help the situation that I'm your stepbrother – not that our family dynamics are completely 'normal' anyway."

Megan was ready to throw herself at Josh's feet. He was handling this so perfectly. She pulled her chair a little closer. She told Josh, "This is the first time for me. What was it like for you?"

"When I was in 8th grade, I liked this girl Sharon. I knew I didn't have a chance. She was completely out of my league and she didn't even know I was alive. So I made up this little game. When everyone was changing classes and the hallways were crowded, I'd see how many times I could brush past her. I had a little notebook and I recorded my tally every day. I had a point system and everything – like whether we'd touch shoulders or legs or arms and what-not."

"What happened?"

"One day I got too enthusiastic and bumped her right into her locker, head first! She noticed me THEN! She called me a few choice names and I guess that started me on the road to the cure." Josh was smiling. He punched her shoulder lightly, prompting, "It's okay. You can laugh. That's why I told you."

Megan felt hungrier now. She ate all her ice cream and part of Josh's, too.

"I want you to know, you're 100 percent special to me, too, but as a _sister_. I mean, it wouldn't be appropriate for us to have any other kind of relationship except as siblings. Especially right now because of the difference in our ages."

Megan leaned forward in her seat, speaking in barely a whisper. "Josh, I saw you and Drake - in your bedroom – after school today."

"Huh?" Josh felt like he was tied to the tracks with a train on its way, helpless to avoid disaster.

"Oboe practice was cancelled. I got home early. I saw you and Drake . . . together . . . on the couch."

A family with a swarm of noisy, nosy children had entered the restaurant. Feeling cornered, Josh got up and ushered Megan out the door and started heading down the sidewalk, flailing and muttering.

"Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, Megan. I'm so sorry. So very sorry. You must be extremely upset. We didn't think you'd be home until 6:30. We thought we were by ourselves. I thought Drake had locked the door. That wasn't right for you to see. You are probably so freaked out. You must hate us now! You must think we are terrible people."

There was a little park behind the strip of shops. Josh took off his jacket and put it on a bench so Megan could sit down without getting her clothes wet. He continued to pace before her, occasionally biting his thumb.

Megan wanted an explanation. Patiently, she continued to probe. "What kind of relationship do you have with Drake then?"

"It's complicated." Josh ran his hand through his hair several times and looked around as if the answer might be hanging from one of the trees.

"Do you love each other?"

"Yes, of course. The way family members and the best of friends love each other."

"But are you IN love with each other?"

"In a way. It's hard to explain. Even when Drake and I try to talk about it, we can't figure it out. But we know we have to keep what you saw a secret."

"Are you gay?"

"If you have to put a label on it, I guess you could say we're both bisexual. Neither of us has stopped wanting girls. And we aren't into guys in general."

"How long has this been going on?"

Josh sat down next to Megan.

"Since the night we had our double date with those identical twins. It started out as a kind of experiment." He wished it didn't sound so lame and ordinary.

"Do you think you'll live together like Aunt Barb and Rena?"

Josh was screaming inside his brain. He cast around for the right thing to say. He'd been sweetly undone to find out that Megan cherished feelings other than pure hatred for him, but this. He and Drake had unwittingly given her the power to destroy them. She could hold this over them for the rest of their lives. She seemed benevolent enough at the moment, but just wait until they did something to enrage her. Mom and Dad wouldn't understand in a million years. Sure, he could say she was making it up. But what were the chances they'd take his side over Megan's? He wasn't ready to be outed by his sister. He thought Drake had a chance at surviving the damage to his reputation, but for Josh Nichols, this would be death knell to his social life. He'd have to run away and become a hermit, living in a cave on trail mix. And if everybody knew, maybe he and Drake would be forced apart. Even worse, maybe taking that side of their relationship public might end things before they ever could manage to sort it out by themselves.

Steepling his fingers, Josh looked at Megan. "I think you're at the age where you're starting to understand about the urge to . . . pair up with someone. Being young is the chance to explore relationships and feelings without choosing to make a forever commitment. What's going on privately between Drake and me will not continue once we embark on our separate adult lives, even though we'll always care – a lot - about each other. That much we _have _discussed."

"But why _him_, Josh? Why do you love _him_? He's shallow and self-centered. He flits from one girl to the next. He isn't _smart_. You're better than that."

"Megan! I'm not going to justify my feelings to you or anyone else. All I'll say is that Drake and I have this deep connection between us, which happens to include expressing it physically."

"There's something I want you to do, Josh. I want you to kiss me like you were kissing Drake."

"Oh, God! I can't! It would be wrong on so many levels."

"You have to, Josh . . . or I'll tell."

"Megan, NO! You have to promise me, if you care about me like you say you do, that you will not tell ANYONE about this. Too many people could get hurt. I've said more than I should already because I wanted to try and help you understand the way things are."

"I have to know what it feels like. Do it and you have my word you're secret's safe. I swear." Megan extended a pinky finger.

"Under protest. Against my better judgment." Josh felt his mouth going dry and his palms growing sweaty.

Megan climbed into Josh's lap. His body felt tense against hers. Finally, Josh hooked his little finger around hers. Josh kissed her quickly, a mere peck on the lips, not even a full smooch.

"Happy now?"

"No. The same way you were kissing HIM."

Josh felt the muscles in his throat closing up. He was either about to have an asthma attack or pass out. "Megan, I am telling you that there is no power on earth that will make me slip you some tongue."

"Josh! I meant I want you to kiss me with the same kind of _feeling_. Tongue would be gross."

With trembling hands, he cradled Megan's solemn face. He was so stressed out, he worried he might start _twitching_. Megan looked so innocent and young with her eyes closed. Josh closed his own eyes and said a prayer. Then he put his lips to hers.

Megan felt the sweet, firm pressure of Josh's mouth against hers. It was a little bit like she'd imagined it, but mostly he suddenly seemed so much older and bigger than she was. Even though he was doing as she demanded, she could sense the emotion behind it wasn't completely love - was it fear? She was at the point of releasing him, when he pulled away.

"I can't. I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't see how there's any way around that. As Dad keeps reminding me all the time, you're becoming a young woman. I think you know how pretty you are. You deserve a boyfriend that's all yours and who wants nothing more than to be with you. But I'm not the guy and I can't ever _be_ that guy. But I _will _always be there for you, as your big brother."

Josh hugged Megan tightly. That felt right and good to her. She pressed her head against his chest and listened to the sound of his heart, hammering wildly. He rocked her and kept apologizing, worrying that she was hurting inside, calling her a poor little thing, telling her that he'd do anything in life that he could to help her. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.

Megan wound her arms tightly around Josh's neck. Between the sobs that she hadn't wanted to allow she told him "You're such a good person. That's why I love you so much. I understand there can never be an 'us.' I guess I always knew that, but didn't want to think about it. Don't worry. I'll keep your secret. But don't you tell about mine, either. Drake can't know. He must never know that I saw you. I don't want him knowing that I thought you were the one for me." Josh kept on rocking her, to comfort himself as much as Megan. Growing up was never easy. He continued patting her back until she had cried herself out. Night had fallen around them.

"Megs, if you want to spend time with me or talk to me about anything, all you have to do is let me know. I can't read your mind. It think it's wise advice that 'we can't _work_ things out if we don't _talk_ things out.'"

"Did you learn that from Oprah?"

"No. Actually, I, er, uh, _read_ it in the school newspaper, back when they used to run Miss Nancy's help column."

Megan felt like she wanted to sit there all night, feeling safe and secure with Josh holding her. But it was totally dark and she heard thunder. The street lamps had come on.

Giving Megan an extra squeeze, Josh said, "We'd better get back soon. But one more thing: I would appreciate it if you could tone it down with the pranks. I know you do it to show how clever and resourceful you are – and what a bad temper you have." Megan scowled. "Oh, don't you deny it, missy! I'm just saying, instead of large farm animals, industrial-strength glue, electric shocks and things that explode, couldn't you just stick to whoopee-cushion type tricks? Those I wouldn't mind!"

"I'll think about it. I'm getting too old – and too busy – for most of that stuff, anyway."

Megan was especially pleased that Josh could appreciate how "clever and resourceful" she was. That was something to hold onto.

Scooting Megan off his lap, Josh stood up, collected his damp jacket with one hand, and wrapped the other arm around his sister, as they hurried back to the car.

When Josh put the groceries in the kitchen, Drake was still there, struggling with his homework.

"What took you so long?" Drake piped up.

Megan pushed past Josh and answered, "We stopped and had some ice cream, if it's any of your beeswax." Audrey shooed Megan and Josh out of the room. They left Drake chewing on his pencil while their mother emptied the bags from the store.

When Drake finally finished, he noticed that Megan had left her posterboard on the dining room table. He took it upstairs with him. He knocked. Megan opened her bedroom door a crack and frowned when she saw Drake.

"Here's your posterboard."

She snatched it from him, still grimacing.

"Who died and pissed on your parade?" asked Drake, baffled by her attitude.

"You did, that's who, you big boob! And if you have even one ounce of self-preservation, then you'd better stay out of my way until you hear otherwise."

Megan shut the door, enjoying Drake's alarmed reaction. Her mind was already at work thinking of things she could do to Drake to make his life miserable. The trick would be not letting him find out it was her doing it. She didn't want Josh to know, either. She was sure he wouldn't approve. She wasn't up to the task of disassembling an entire car and rebuilding it in Mrs. Hayfer's classroom, but she did think she could manage to get Drake expelled. Or better yet, held back a year. That was a possibility. The very idea made her feel better.

Megan sat down at her desk, consulted her scientific record, and humming, began the process of mixing another batch of perfume. She'd have to think of a better name for it than Project J, something dramatic and mysterious.

Drake was surprised to find the bedroom lights out and Josh already in bed.

"Joshie, you asleep?" he called out.

"No. Just thinking." Josh sat up and switched on the bedside lamp, so Drake could see where he was going. Josh either retreated to bed or into a book (or both at once) when he needed to mull over his most serious thoughts.

Drake decided to turn in, too. Homework wore him out. As he got undressed, he asked Josh "What's got Megan in such a snit? She tore me a new one when all I did was bring her stupid posterboard upstairs."

"Megan and I had a long talk tonight."

"About?" Drake slipped on his sleep pants and a clean T-shirt.

Josh chose his words carefully. "She has a crush on someone. She found out he has feelings for someone else. And she found out the worst way possible, by seeing him kissing the other person."

Drake walked over to the bedroom door and made sure it was locked.

"I would have told her to move right in and take him away from that other girl! Why didn't she come to me in the first place?" Drake continued to fume, "She had the perfect opportunity when the car died to talk to me about it—" then he stopped in his tracks as his brain switched gears.

"Maybe she was afraid you'd make fun of her or not take it seriously." Josh recalled the unfortunate Pusan incident.

Drake's thoughts caught up with him. "Megan's much too young to be thinking about boys!"

"She took it hard. It hurt her. It hurt me, too, to see her so upset like that."

"It's not like she wouldn't DESERVE some harsh treatment – after all she's done to us." Drake crammed his dirty clothes into the wicker hamper. "She's got no business crushing on boys yet. That's why she didn't tell me, she knew I would NOT approve!"

"Well, just don't mention it to her, whatever you do. She's at that transitional stage. Everything's new and awkward and all blown up out of proportion for her. Promise me: this will have to stay a secret. I'm trusting you on this."

"Maybe a dose of heartbreak will keep her away from the boys for a while longer."

"No matter what, she's our little sister. Come on now, have a heart, Drake!"

Drake eased himself under the covers next to Josh. Smiling, he replied softly "I do! _Yours_."

Continued in Chapter 6


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer:**_ The characters herein are not my creations nor do I own them; I am not seeking any profit nor any ill will from the major corporations that are the legal owners. This is only for fun fun fun in the sun sun sun.

_**Author:**_ therubyone

_**Reader advisory:**_ Rated T for Teen for slash & step-cest

MEGAN'S BIG CRUSH

Chapter 6. - _**Essence**_

Megan arrived home from school and heard someone rattling around in the kitchen. It was Josh in his striped chef's apron.

"Megs, why don't you come in here and help me?"

"With what?"

"Mom needs me to bake brownies for that baby shower."

Even through her distress, it was still comforting and made her happy to be around Josh like this. Megan tied her hair back and slipped on the apron Josh handed her. Soon the two of them were busy measuring and mixing as they talked and joked.

Drake came in, announced he was starving and the smell of what was baking in the oven was like torture to him; he was most interested in finding out when the brownies would be ready.

"Mom's taking them to the baby shower! You can't have any!" Megan scolded.

Josh intervened, "That's why I'm making an extra batch for at home."

"Can I lick the spoon at least?" begged Drake.

"Megan has dibs today. So unless you want to put on an apron and help out, you should run along."

Megan put in fiercely, "Yeah, this is OUR time, ya boob!"

Drake shot a questioning look at Josh, but vacated the kitchen. "Fine," he said, his voice trailing away, "I've got to cram for my Espanol test. Hasta la vista, hermanos."

Megan was relieved that Drake had left her alone with Josh. She still wasn't ready to be around Drake yet.

"Josh, I. um, _borrowed _some things of yours."

Josh knew instantly where the Tikki and the toucan had gone. "If they mean something to you because they're mine, then you're welcome to hold onto them. Just promise me you won't ever sell them on eBay."

"Thanks. For everything."

Josh dabbed a bit of chocolate batter onto the tip of Megan's nose. In spite of herself, she found she was laughing.

Epilogue to follow as Chapter 7


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer:**_ These characters were not created by me nor are they owned by me. I'm only using them for the therapy I can't afford! No profit is sought, no offense intended.

_**Reader Advisory:**_ Rated T (for Teen) slash & step-cest – don't like? Don't read!

_**Special thanks:**_ To everyone who gave this story a chance with its unusual concept and who were so generous in sharing their thoughts about it and providing constant input. Reviews are candy!

_**Author:**_ therubyone

**MEGAN'S BIG CRUSH**

_**Epilogue**_

Months later, Megan became interested in a boy her own age. She didn't want anyone in her family to know about her involvement with him, especially Josh and Drake. But her brothers stepped in and stopped creepy Cory, who'd been cheating on her and telling her lies. The brothers were injured in a fight when they attempted to serve up just desserts to Cory for his evil ways.

Megan was grateful that her older brothers had been looking out for her. She was beginning to feel less upset with Drake. She wasn't normally demonstrative, but she couldn't stop herself from kissing Drake and Josh. When Megan looked at Josh, their faces only inches apart, it just slipped out: "I love you – guys." Drake had told her later that Josh had cried after she said it, which in turn gave her butterflies inside. She'd been changing, certainly, and so had Josh. They were all growing up.

THE END


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